I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
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Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
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You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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