I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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