Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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