well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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