No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
