does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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