I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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