goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
