dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Randomize
