I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
