youre lurking in front of me
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
