I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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