She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
