I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
