i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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