She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
