6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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