i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
