Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
