so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
