Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
