Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
