I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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