yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize