He asked to "fluff my boner.."
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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