Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just cut my nipple shaving
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
