You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
