I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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