Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
