It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
