I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
