I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
