Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
