I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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