is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
