He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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