Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
