What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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