Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
