My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
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mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
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The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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