4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
