turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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