shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize