I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize