I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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