youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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