On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
