So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I checked into jail on foursquare
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
