I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
two words: eviction party
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
