Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
