things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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