I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
