if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
