I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
why didn't you poke me back
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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