Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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