he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
